During Elizabethan times people were sometimes classified
based on the four humors. Humorism is
the theory that a person’s personality and health can be directly influenced by
an excess or deficiency of any of the four distinct bodily fluids. These
fluids are: blood, yellow bile, black bile, and phlegm. Sounds tantalizing right?
Because I am conspiracy theorist (and a little bit of a history nerd) I’ve been
thinking about Humorism lately.
People with an excess of yellow bile are considered “choleric”
and are easily angered and bad tempered. The modern term for these individuals
is “idealist”, which I find humorous (notice the pun). We all know this person.
The evil neighbor that is always yelling at you to “Slow down!” as you drive
by. Or the surly old man at Vons that acts like ringing up your groceries is
giving him hemorrhoids. Or any high school librarian. An excess of black bile
will lead a person to be considered “melancholic”. This person is sleepless, despondent,
and irritable. Supposedly they are the “guardians” of the Humors. This is the Eeyore of the Humors. Or that
friend that pretends to be trying really hard but is actually just sitting
around bitching. Too much Phlegm makes a
person “phlegmatic” (duh) and get this, they are considered “rational”. Hmmm.
These people are considered calm and unemotional. So in my mind they are the
American Psychos and the Dexters of the world. Finally comes the excess of
blood. The “sanguine” peeps of the Humors Theory. These people are “artisans”
and are courageous, hopeful, and amorous. These are my kind of people.
I feel like although this is all a croc of shit, we all can
relate to some if not all of these humors. I myself have been all four of the
humors at one time or another, sometimes all within an hour. I fought long and
hard to transform myself from the “Choleric” asshole I once was to the “Sanguine”
rainbow that I am today. And it was not a pretty process. Now that I am the
hopeless romantic that I am I realize shit is no easier this way. I am so
devoted to being optimistic that when things are shitty I take it hard. Real
hard. Didn’t-win-the-Academy-Award-but-already-cleared-a-place-on-my-mantle,
hard. This disappointment does not just happen in regards to big things in
life, like winning the lottery or meeting the man of my dreams it happens with
almost everything I plan that later falls through. The other day I almost cried
when I had plans to make cupcakes and we were out of cake mix. Seriously. I had
to talk myself down from the cliff and tell myself that sometimes cupcakes aren’t
possible but that the world was still a place worth living in.
If I am going to do something I am going to do it balls to
the wall. I spent a lot of time doing things half-assed, and I have very little
to show for it. So my new MO is to be as outlandish as I feel and hope I get
better results. At least I am being authentic to myself, as well as keeping
people on their toes. But doing things hardcore all the time kind of ensures
that you will be disappointed at least 45% of the time. This is the part I
always forget. Sure, sometimes dressing up like a giant chicken and dancing
around gets great results. Some people love a girl dressed as a giant chicken.
And sometimes people do not enjoy a full grown woman singing “Free to be You
and Me!” at the top of her lungs. Probably those Choleric bastards, but still.
It happens. The point is I’ve somehow wrongly convinced myself that if I put
myself out there and live my most authentic life that I will somehow
automatically get the results I dream up. And this is just not realistic. I kind
of just assumed that because I was playing the game Full Throttle Charlie’s
Angels 2 that everyone around me was too. Apparently they are not. Not everyone
is as invested in what is going on around them. People don’t notice the extra
efforts that are made. And that’s their prerogative. Nothing wrong with being a
grown-up, or being busy or whatever. I just gotta start training myself to
better embrace the disappointment. I’m never going to not be butthurt when someone
poo-poos the way I do things. I spend a lot of time and energy crafting what I present
to the world so when I get shitty reviews I get a little down. But I need to go
even further in my pushing of the limit and stop letting people’s lack of
enthusiasm for life affect how I strut my stuff. So some people don’t like
public singing? Sucks for them, Can’t stop WON’T stop.
The real question I have when pondering all this is how can
someone have an excess of courage,
hope, or love? Let’s face it; every hero is a little nutty. That’s what separates
them from all the normal people that are standing around waiting for things to
happen. You gotta be a little bat shit crazy to get results in this life but I
don’t see this as a deficiency. And what would classify a person as being “too hopeful?”
Hope is the driving force of humanity. All change is based on hope and all
progress is based on change. Without hope there would be no women voting, no integration,
and probably no indoor plumbing. As for an excess of love well I guess that
could get messy. I mean no one likes the slut. Technically everyone loves the
slut, but not in the way that is important. Having an excess of love is the easiest
way to get hurt, and I’ve found that it the quickest way to be rejected. People
are much more likely to put up with an excess of anger than they are to put up
with an excess of love (at least in my experience). Perhaps this is why I am
seen as such an eccentric character in my environment. I am not down to hide
how I feel about a person. I am not good at playing the game, and waiting to
call or acting “busy” or whatever the fucking rules are. Fuck that. I’m down,
your down; let’s get this show on the road. And if you aren’t down, tell me so
I can flutter off and be the sunshine in someone else’s life. Because just as
there are people in this world that HATE public singing and adults in chicken
costumes, there are a select few who get off on skipping through the mall
singing songs from The Wizard of Oz and
acting out the fight scenes from Kill Bill. And these are the only people I
want to surround myself with.
And for the record, maybe instead of being weaker or “deficient”
for being hopeful and optimistic I am in fact stronger than the other Humors
for spending more time caring about my environment and those around me. Because
the fact is it is WAY easier to take care of yourself and say “fuck the rest”
than it is to ensure you are positively affecting those around you. But how
boring is it to take the easy way out?
Scary
and doesn't show up at all
he sets his watch to a comet's orbit
remembers to forget to call
No courage for love - too scared to be happy
No courage for love - too scared to be happy
I do... do
I do... do
"Your place or mine?" means "Heaven or hell?"
two addresses somewhat apart
his home's dark and spiky, her's clear as a bell
it's over before they can start
No courage for love - too scared to be happy
No courage for love - too scared to be happy
I do.... don't
And tomorrow passed them by
