I heard on CNN the other day that on average people are living longer and that the age for social security and retirement should be adjusted because of this. My own personal observations have shown me that in recent years people's lives are taking longer to get started. And I'm not just talking about my own life. 20 years ago it was almost unheard of for a 25 year old female to be unmarried. At the very least she was engaged, or she was just a mongoloid.
These days although most of my friends do have serious relationships (way to make me look like a mongoloid guys!) none of them are married, or even engaged. So what is going on with our generation?
If 30 is the new 20 does that mean I'm going to flounder around for 5 more years till things fall into place? And let's say I don't lock something down and get married till I'm 30, then I'll be having kids when I'm 32ish. Will my eggs even last that long? In real life I am not super concerned with the expiration date of my eggs, but all this late blooming does make me think.
By 25 my mom was married and divorced and married again. A year after she had her most glorious accomplishment to date, me. That's 2 husbands, a divorce, and 2 kids by the time she was 26. Not to mention an amazing career, multiple real estate upgrades and and all the other material wealth the 80s had to offer. Now I could do without the divorce, and probably the husband for now, but I would feel less stressed out if I could see that I was at least moving in the right direction. I feel as if I've been stagnant for the past 5 years, all I have to show for myself is rainbow hair and student loans.
I guess I just wonder how realistic and sustainable this new trend of starting late in life is. I never really worried about the direction my life was going in until I was considered an "adult" and realized I was no where near where I expected myself to be at this age. When I was younger and I would think of myself as an adult I always imagined myself skilled at dealing with boys and being married by the time I left college. In my young mind the whole point of college was to meet someone and get married (I swear I don't have WASP parents, I just watched a lot of movies). I've been out of college for 3 years now and I can tell you I am NOWHERE near any of these idyllic visions I had as a youth. I think what I am learning as I grow older is how young I really am. Or at least how young I feel. I do not feel ready at all to be married (one person for the rest of my life, yeah right) and I certainly don't feel ready to have a kid. I want kids, but I can barely remember to take care of myself. I often forget to eat and I rarely brush my hair. So what the hell am I bitching about here? I suppose I am not bitching, but rather marveling in my youth and realizing that I am not the old washed up old spinster that I see myself as (or the world perceives me as). Sure, I don't have a steady relationship (or ANY relationship) but I am not a total freak. I have a job I love, I am well liked by people, I don't think people know right away that I am insane. And that's all good. I have a college education (not that it gets me as far as it would have 10 years ago) and I have pretty good social skills. My greatest talent is making people feel comfortable, even if I am dying inside. I should be focusing on these traits more and less on the fact that I have been single most of my life.
I've decided to erase all the old visions and expectations I had about myself. They are not helping me accomplish anything, and they are only clouding my energy and bringing me down. No more thinking about where I should be at this point in my life. I am going to begin to create a new vision for myself, one where I am 25 and working towards getting an even better paying job I love, and becoming closer to my friends and learning to balance school and work and family. And relishing in the fact that I can run out at any time and not have to look for a babysitter or worry about getting the kids to school on time the next morning. Also, in-laws. Not having to deal with in-laws in another reason I've decided to love being 25 and not where I expected myself to be. Perhaps instead of setting myself up for failure I've set myself up to learn that I might be dodging some bullets and I might be right where I should be. To quote the legendary John Lennon "There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be." So here I am, right on track, just like I expected.
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